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Re: Been there, didn't do that

"It took something from you, it must have given something back."

I don't know what that means. I was badly injured even though I didn't know it at first. There were no visible scars or bruises. They were all what are called soft tissue injuries, very hard to prove and therefore requiring additional automobile insurance premiums to be covered for in the State of New Jersey (fortunately I was.) It took a year and a half to substantially recover. People who are sick whether mentally or physically do not have a right to inflict their illness on other people nor to use it as a justification or excuse to be abusive. It is remarkable to me that so many people here would surrender to the rantings of a sniveling, whining, spoiled self centered brat merely because he may be in physical pain much of the time but I guess that is how he got to be a brat in the fist place and maybe that explains why so many children grow up that way.

If you want to know what changes the accident made in me, I'd say overcoming any real adversity in life makes you tougher. All of this happened at a very bad time in my life when both of my parents were terminally ill. It also makes you aware of your own mortality. One thing that surprised me was what went through my head between the time of the collision by the other car and the time of the impact with the concrete wall which I was certain would be fatal. Time slowed down. Those few seconds seemed like minutes. My brain was racing very quickly. Most surprising of all was that I wasn't frightned, I just had a very sad and lonely feeling as though I had been cheated out of half my life. Afterwards, far from acting like tube boob, I was just thrilled to be alive and still in one piece. Complaining about it to anyone was the last thought on my mind but I do admit I did a lot of fighting with a lot of people. Maybe that's how I got to be this way. The only other change I can think of is that I lost my eye for and love of photography. For some reason, in that area, the accident took the wind out of my sails. Too bad, I have so much wonderful camera equipment to play with. Where I was once burning roll after roll of film through it, now it mostly sits idle. BTW, I'm wasn't much better as a photographer than I am as a musician. Realistically, my abilities in both areas are still "beginner."

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